(My dad and my little sister on a vacation to South Dakota the summer of 2004.)
Since it's Father's Day, I thought I'd tell a little bit about how much I love my dad. I don't do it nearly enough. He's such an amazing guy and I'm pretty sure I'd think that even if he wasn't my dad.
He has such unique perspectives on life on life issues, and talking with him always leaves me feeling better about life. I change a little bit every time I talk to him or read one of his letters.
It's odd, but every time I call one of my parents, I end up on the phone for about an hour. The difference is I [i]like[/i] talking to my dad for that long! Rumor has it that when he retires/my little sister turns 18, he's going to move "west of the Mississippi." He's always liked South Dakota and western Iowa. Whenever he makes a visit to Sioux City (the city where he was born), he says "It always feels like I'm coming home, even though I only lived there 6 years." Every letter that he addressed to me while I was in college included the line, "How are things in the Promised Land?"
One of the greatest qualities that I've found in my father is his ability to talk about anything. Today, in the hour and eleven minutes we spent on the phone, topics discussed include (but not limited to):
One of the most interesting veins of conversation started by talking about the women's liberation movement. I told him I thought that women had gone about obtaining equality the wrong way. To put the two genders on equal footing, it probably would have been a better idea to raise men up instead of bringing women down. "I don't meant to offend your entire gender," I explained, but he said it was unecessary to apologize. He agreed with me.
There are certain things women can do better than men. "The only things I believe men can do that women can't is hold the Priesthood and plant the seed to create children. Everything else, women can do. And they're probably better at most of it."
I had been telling him about a female friend of mine who feels that men are intimidated by the fact that she is finished with her schooling, successful in her career and has purchased a home. Let's face it, some men are put off by women who are too independent. My dad quickly insisted that he wasn't one of them. I guessed that those men (the ones put off by independent women) must like to be needed. That's when my dad gave me this little jewel. This is the quote that changed me from this exchange with my father.
"I'd rather be wanted than needed."
He said he's gone his whole life feeling needed. I, too, know what it's like to feel needed. Sometimes it can be burdensome. He said that if a woman is independent and is still around, then it's clear she wants to be around you. She doesn't need you; it's her choice to be in your company. And agency--the ability to choose--is one of the greatest gifts we've been given.
So, yeah. I love my dad.
He has such unique perspectives on life on life issues, and talking with him always leaves me feeling better about life. I change a little bit every time I talk to him or read one of his letters.
It's odd, but every time I call one of my parents, I end up on the phone for about an hour. The difference is I [i]like[/i] talking to my dad for that long! Rumor has it that when he retires/my little sister turns 18, he's going to move "west of the Mississippi." He's always liked South Dakota and western Iowa. Whenever he makes a visit to Sioux City (the city where he was born), he says "It always feels like I'm coming home, even though I only lived there 6 years." Every letter that he addressed to me while I was in college included the line, "How are things in the Promised Land?"
One of the greatest qualities that I've found in my father is his ability to talk about anything. Today, in the hour and eleven minutes we spent on the phone, topics discussed include (but not limited to):
- race relations
- cows wandering around Sioux City (both in this century and the last)
- quitting drinking and smoking
- being adaptable
- being responsible
- financial obligations
- health care/insurance
- home teaching/teachers
One of the most interesting veins of conversation started by talking about the women's liberation movement. I told him I thought that women had gone about obtaining equality the wrong way. To put the two genders on equal footing, it probably would have been a better idea to raise men up instead of bringing women down. "I don't meant to offend your entire gender," I explained, but he said it was unecessary to apologize. He agreed with me.
There are certain things women can do better than men. "The only things I believe men can do that women can't is hold the Priesthood and plant the seed to create children. Everything else, women can do. And they're probably better at most of it."
I had been telling him about a female friend of mine who feels that men are intimidated by the fact that she is finished with her schooling, successful in her career and has purchased a home. Let's face it, some men are put off by women who are too independent. My dad quickly insisted that he wasn't one of them. I guessed that those men (the ones put off by independent women) must like to be needed. That's when my dad gave me this little jewel. This is the quote that changed me from this exchange with my father.
"I'd rather be wanted than needed."
He said he's gone his whole life feeling needed. I, too, know what it's like to feel needed. Sometimes it can be burdensome. He said that if a woman is independent and is still around, then it's clear she wants to be around you. She doesn't need you; it's her choice to be in your company. And agency--the ability to choose--is one of the greatest gifts we've been given.
So, yeah. I love my dad.
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