From There to Here

I've been in a good mood most of this week for a number of reasons.  One of them is that I've finally taken the schedule bull by the horns and pigeonholed my availability.  It had been my intention to do so a couple of weeks ago, but circumstances changed and I decided that I would wait a day to avoid being  a bull in a china shop.  (The china shop that employes me.)  During that day of waiting, my boss contacted me and asked if I would be interested in becoming the scheduler myself.

Interested I was, and I spent last week watching training videos and spending time in the office.  The scheduler position became very desireable to me.  I got a taste of the passion I was capable of feeling for all of the arranging.  It seemed perfect for me.  But I kept thinking of the plans I had made earlier, and how those felt less exciting, but right.

This past Sunday was Fast Sunday, and I decided to fast about whether or not to accept the position.  It was also my turn to teach, and the lesson was on Balaam.  The manual taught me about how Balaam was interested in the accolades of men (and  the world).  Even though he followed the letter of the law that the Lord gave him, his heart was not in the right place.  This was evident in Balaam's going to three different mountains, building a total of 21 different altars, and asking the Lord what he should say to Balak (who had requested that Balaam curse Israel).  

I decided to go with the answer I had received to prayers and from personal revelation as a result of attending stake conference.  So I texted my boss, requesting to meet at her convenience.  She called and I broke the news.  Thankfully she's also LDS, so explaining that my decision to not take the position because I don't feel it's what the  Lord wants for me, even if it might have been what I desired, doesn't sound bizarre to her.  

I feel a little like Elder Holland in this message.  I had talked with someone earlier about doing the schedules, and that week in the office felt good, but as I saw it come to a dead end, I knew that changing my availability was the right thing for me to do.  Also, I learned from Balaam's experience with his donkey that God sees more than I do.  I have decided to trust in Him and embrace the schedule that was inspired by Him, even if it requires some sacrifice.  (Most of my shifts will be in the evenings, so I may have fewer opportunities for socializing.)

Another reason I'm in a good mood is  because there was a sister who received her own endowment while I was working at the temple last night.  This always makes me happy, but it was 2 years ago on Monday that I received my own, so I was drawing parallels between now and then.  I look at the changes that have occurred in my professional life, in my social life, in my creative life, and in my spiritual life over that time period.  Words cannot describe the pleasure that my lifestyle now brings to me.  Even when it's difficult (as it has been trying to figure out the difference between day and night 7 times a week), I still experience joy each week.