Hangry

This year, my SAD is coming with a short temper.  Not a fan.  I also have been terribly inconsistent about keeping up with my Vitamin D and have done my light therapy once, maybe twice.  Toss in being surrounded by lazy and inconsiderate people, and is it any wonder I'm feeling my blood boil at least once a week?

Just today, I literally drove all the way across town to buy some beer (hard cider) for the roommates for NYE.  Not because they asked or even expected me to, but because I just needed to get out of the situation.  Good news is, the basement is being progressed on, so I will soon be able to have a clearer personal space to spend my time in, which will help me in thinking more clearly.

Before I get too far, though, I'm with my local writing group.  Well, I'm in the same room as they are.  Tonight may not have been the best night for me to come out, but staying home would not have been a better option.  I was the fourth one to arrive, followed by the fifth of our party of eight, who is the bringer of power (cords).  I had made myself comfortable in a seat of my choosing.  There is a fellow who brings a rocking camping chair with him, which takes up considerably more space than the chairs belonging to the restaurant. 

Of course, he sits behind me.  (And the server who annoys me the most is back on Saturday nights.)  I admittedly throw a bit of a fit and relocated myself, being very vocal about why I was moving: I was feeling claustrophobic and needed to sit somewhere with more space.  I don't like feeling like I don't have a quick exit in case of a fire, and his chair was definitely blocking me in.  I may be a jerk, come early next week, sit in the same spot, and passively aggressively ask him to not use his chair next to where I have already sat. 

The reason I'm still even kind of upset about right now is because it moved me farther from the power strips.  It was kind of a hassle just to get a strip passed to me, and about twenty minutes after using my laptop, I realize it's not charging.  Why?  Because the strip my strip is plugged into isn't turned on.  And I'm not into interrupting conversation to have it turned on.

I ought to get out before my laptop shuts down on me.  It's got to be awfully close.  It's old and the battery lies and dies.  But going home might not be good, either. I'm still kind of feeling my grandather's funeral, and having no one ask me about it since showing up is only contributing to my feelings of lonliness, enhanced by being somewhat banished to the corner. 

I'd love to pack up and go to a supportive home situation, but I doubt it.  There will be one roommate playing a game on the tv upstairs and another aggressively cuddling with her girlfriend on the couch.  Like caressing each other's faces.  How people can be comfortable with that baffles me.  Wish it was even a little warmer; I'd spend the night in my van.  No joke.  I've done it before for a couple of hours.

The tears that have fallen and the runny nose are a sign I really should be going.  I just feel like being a bit of a wench right now.  Which means I'll be leaving the door open when I leave.