Two years...

Congratulations, seashmore, you are exactly where you were two years ago: looking for a job and an apartment. All you've done in the past two years is move, get jealous and spit watermelon seeds at your student loans. Oh, and you bought a car because the brakes on your other one weren't worth repairing.

That's what I told myself and my roommate today at lunch.

I'm not living anyone's dream right now. I hate a job I used to love, I'd have more money if I could have lived with not contributing anything to better society for 40 hours a week, and I'd probably would have had dates in the past two years if the women's lib movement hadn't tried duct taping men's balls on women's bodies. (Translated: boys don't seem to be asking girls out anymore.)

I just don't feel that I've accomplished anything tangible in the past two years of my life.

When I look at the path that my spiritual life has taken these past two years, however, I get a much different result. I have grown so much in my understanding of the Atonement and our Savior's love. I have given more to and received more from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints than I would have ever thought possible. I understand the covenants I made at baptism much better than I did 2 years ago. I know that great feeling of happiness that comes from being worthy and going to the temple, even if it's just a limited use reccomend. I've learned how to magnify a calling, and the blessings that come from doing that.

I'm not saying I haven't learned anything in the past two years; I just don't have anything to show for the things I've learned. Maybe the friends I've added to facebook for one reason or another in the past two years gives a glimpse of that. But that's not even accurate, because I've made friends and met people who have changed me, but don't even have the opportunity to join facebook.

I am not the same person I was two years ago, so don't expect me to be. I've had struggles I never thought I'd have and I've been in situations that I haven't even read about. How I made it through those times has changed me internally and eternally. I don't ever expect myself to return to live where I once called home, as much as I would like to.