Not judging a book by it’s cover is a bunch of hooey.
(Fair warning: I approach 1000 words here. No offense taken if you skip this one.)
Let’s Get LiteralWe only have so much time on this earth, and much of that is taken up by things that are not reading. So it is imperative that we not waste our time reading things we don’t want to. I once read in a Reader’s Digest that, until you were 50, you should give a book 50 pages to impress you. After age 50, subtract one page per year. If you aren’t enjoying it by then, it’s not worth your time. At least, I think that was the theory. It’s a nice one at any rate, and one I use.
But how do you know whether or not you want to start reading something?
You give it a once-over. If you don’t like romance novels, you probably aren’t going to bother handling a book that has a scantily clad lady wrapped in the arms of a shirtless sailor. If you love sci-fi, you’re going to pause and gaze at a book with a black, starry background behind a flying saucer.
Okay, so a book has passed the cover test. Then what? Well, you look at the front of it.
All books have the title on the front, and it’s usually (60%) somewhat (40%) indicative of what kind of book it is, even if it reveals nothing about the plot. If it’s the name of someone (“Tess of the d’Urbervilles”), it’s probably going to follow their life. If it’s some philosophical phrase (“Catcher in the Rye”), it’s probably going to have more introspection than action from the characters.
A lot of books also have clips of reviews written on the front cover. Some also have more brief reviews on the inside first few pages. While the publishers aren’t going to put any bad publicity on it, you can get a feel for the style or type of book that it is. For instance, a line from a cover review for “Minding Frankie” describes Maeve Binchy as being an expert at writing an “intelligent comfort novel.” A Stephen King cover might quote a review calling it “the thriller of the century.” You know for yourself whether or not that interests you.
If you still can’t make up your mind about giving it a whirl, I suggest the back cover (or inside flaps if it’s hardcover) next. There you will often find a teasing summation of the plot, maybe another review or two, and perhaps a short bio on the author. Sometimes seeing previous titles or accomplishments can pull you in or push you away.
My point being, a book’s cover can give you an idea of the tone of the story. A John Grisham novel has a different cover than a Danielle Steel novel which has a different cover than a Dr. Seuss book.
Let’s Get PhysicalMost often the concept of judging a book by it’s cover refers to people. But I think it’s possible to develop a base, general idea of someone’s personality in a fairly short amount of time. Note such ideas may not always be accurate or definitive.
What’s the first thing you notice about someone? Is it the good choices they made? The mistakes? What they think about abortion, basketball, or the Oxford comma? All of those things people say matter. No, you first notice the way they look and present themselves. It’s beyond possible to pick through all of the implications a particular aspect of a look can make. While greasy hair or stubble is a sign someone hasn’t showered or shaved, it doesn’t explain why. It might be a sign of depression or apathy, but it might also be because they were up all night with a friend in the hospital.
Just as with real books, it’s rare you can come to a confident decision with just the appearance. You have to find out a bit of what they have to say. The best universal advice I can ever give is to pay attention.
Three things to pay attention to in an initial discussion:
What is being saidThis one’s pretty clear cut. You learn about people by asking questions and sharing life-based anecdotal stories together. People talk about who and what they’re interested in. It’s your call whether those interests are common or something you want to pursue.
How it’s being saidIf the conversation moves at a faster pace, it could be excitement or it could be a desire to get it over with. Short and monosyllabic statements are also a signal of a desire for the conversation to end (maybe it’s personal, maybe it’s not). If someone is rambling, it’s possible they’re over stimulated. Maybe you’re the only person they’ve talked to all day so they’re yearning for human interaction. Maybe their mind is racing with a thousand and a half different ideas and talking to you is helping to slow that down.
What is not being saidSometimes things are left unsaid intentionally, sometimes not. Intentional cases are usually things they don’t want to talk about. Maybe it was traumatic, maybe there isn’t enough time; it varies. If they’re talking about their hometown and they say something about mom’s house,” it’s safe to conclude their parents don’t live together. Of course, you’ll have to decide if you want to make the effort and find out why that’s the case.
Sometimes, a book you pick up isn’t initially desirable, but you muck through the first 50 pages, daring to hope you had been wrong. Sometimes you go back to a book that seemed intimidating the first time because you’ve matured as a reader and now it won’t be such a grueling process. I think the same concepts can be applied to people.
http://missesolheim.blogspot.com/2012/02/not-fairest.html
https://sporan.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/judge-away/#comment-275
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