If life is a highway, then we are the vehicles, and our friends are the passengers.
Allow me to experiment with this analogy as I attempt to explain something that happened on my trip earlier this week.
To people with depression, it feels like they just aren't getting enough fuel to their engine. For people experiencing an emotional depression (such as one cause by circumstances or situations in their life), the solution is probably that they need more gas in the tank or some sort of fuel enhancer. But for people experiencing a physical depression, more than likely the problem's a like a broken fuel pump or clogged fuel line. Something that is going to take time, money, and an expert to fix. Filling the tank may help a little, but it's not going to get more gas to the engine and telling them it will only increases the frustration they already have.
(The personal part)
I recently picked up a new passenger and he had moved his way towards the front of the bus. I knew I'd be having problems with my fuel efficiency. It happens every winter, thanks to a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder (which I have)*. I value this new friend and didn't want him to be caught off guard by the change, so I told him my car has problems in the winter. His reaction led me to believe he would be telling me all winter to solve said problem by adding fuel to my tank. I know this won't fix the problem, and I also know I don't have the gumption for dealing with people who think that way, so I told him I don't have room on my bus for people who react that way, and won't until March.
I was hardly happy about his getting off, but I know it's what's best for me. If I have to spend all my time explaining to someone that my fuel line is broken, I have less time to actually fix it. Truth be told, my fuel efficiency increases when I lighten my load. (Which is hardly ever easy or personal.) But like I said, I'll be back around March and we'll see if he wants back on.
*If you want to know more about SAD in general, I highly reccomend "Winter Blues" by Dr. Norman K. Rosenthal. Even the 1993 version (which is what I have) is a good handbook. I know there have been some advances in treatment, but it's filled with great descriptions, case studies, and tips for dealing with someone who is extremely seasonal. If you want to know more about how it impacts my life or what I do to handle it, hit me up; I actually love talking about it.
3 comments:
It's hard cutting out people from our lives, but sometimes so worth the pain. Good for you for standing up for yourself!
I'll have to look into that book. Ryan gets it, too. Which is a worry when we're planning on moving back to an unforgiving Nebraska winter. Maybe we can have a support group! :)
I second the idea of a support group. :p
But if you haven't found a copy by the time you get out here, I'll loan you mine.
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