Mirror, Mirror, OFF the Wall

Summary: Go a day without looking at my reflection
I knew, before I even began reading the book "Mirror, Mirror, Off the Wall," (which I still haven't finished, so watch the lit blog for a full review) that the problem would most likely lie in the remembering I was doing this challenge.  I hardly look in the mirror.  I'm comfortable saying that, special ocassions excepted, the majority of days, the only times I look in the mirror are while I'm washing my hands in the bathroom and plucking facial hairs at stoplights.  Sometimes I don't even brush my hair, much less do it in front of a mirror.

In that aspect, I'm more like the author's sister. 
Once or twice throughout the day, I caught myself forgetting and checking at the sink to make sure my part was still where I had put it because it felt like it wasn't.  I also caught myself gazing fondly in the mirror at my tan line from my bike ride the day before it snowed.  The hardest part was not plucking what I call "stress hairs" (coarse, dark hairs that appear when I'm stressed) from my chin at stoplights.

But the whole project has me thinking about the value we place on personal appearance.  There is some value to appreciating what you look like, but there's a line between our own personal appreciation and the appreciation others show.  That line is one of the easiest to cross. 

A few days ago, I went looking through some old pictures, mostly of myself.  There were some where I thought I looked good, and some where I thought I looked otherwise.  The largest difference is not where they were taken, what I was wearing, who else I was with, but how I felt about myself at the general time the photo was taken.  The ones I thought I looked the best in were those taken during times when I was confident about who I was, specifically my divine heritage.  There were years I wasn't always cognizant of being a precious daughter of God, and pictures during those years are my least flattering.  (I'm sure there are exceptions, but on the whole, I've found this to be the case.)

When I first heard of Kjersten's personal project, I was reminded of a time that I subconsciously didn't look in mirrors.  Back then, I was in a sense of denial about who I am (was) and what I'm doing here on this earth.  I knew I was a daughter of our heavenly father, but I had lost track of what all that means, and wasn't allowing that knowledge into my life.  I was feeling ashamed of my appearance because I was feeling ashamed of my actions.  It took a long time for me to not feel that way, and Mary Kay had something to do with that.

When I started dealing, I couldn't help but remember something my brother-in-law had said to me way back when we were nothing more than close friends: When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you look good. 

I swapped the order and made it my slogan, because I think it's more important to feel good than to look good.  Although, if the only way you're going to feel good is if you look good, make sure that you are setting your own standard for what looks good.  That's key.  It's very difficult to remain true to yourself when you're allowing someone else (or a group of someone else's) to dictate what you have do in order to look good. 

One of my blogging friends was able to give her 17 year-old daughter on a unique experience: a professional photo shoot. (read about it here) This girl got to be a model for a day, wearing a designer dress and working with a professional photographer.  She learned firsthand how unnatural the images of women in media are, and I wish it was something all young women could learn.  Because then, hopefully, they could learn to define attractiveness and beauty for themselves, independent of what society is telling them.

Part of me wants to say, "it's hard to do that," and it might be for some people.  But it never really was for me.  When I was about 16, I penned the couplet "I don't dress to impress because who I want to impress won't be impressed by the way that I dress."  They still can be, and I don't mind if they are, but I would rather impress someone with my wit, my quirks, my perspective, and my character than by what I look like.

Learn more about Kjersten's book and project here.