Lonesome Christmas

I know I am not alone in this feeling, so please hear me out before you start calling me a Scrooge or a Grinch.

Some people like being alone on Christmas (or other holidays).  Other people should respect that and not pressure them to "find someplace to go." 

The best adult Christmas I had was when I stayed home and watched all 3 Shrek movies by myself because my roommate was at work.  Runner up was the year my sister and I got snowed in and spent the day together in our apartment.

I want you to know that I respect people who have a need to be around dozens of people in sweaters swimming in goodies and wrapping paper ripped up by small children.  I just want people to understand that isn't me, and it doesn't mean I hate Christmas.  No, I love Christmas and the Christmas spirit and the festivities and so many people acting like Christians whether or not they recognize it.  I'm just not a big fan of the day.

My main reason is because of the stress socializing puts on me.  Making sure that everyone I know feels like I thought of them for the holiday is, as T-Swift would say, "so exhausting."  We all know how it's possible to feel lonely in a room full of people.  It's usually because we see everyone talking to someone else while we haven't said a word in 30 minutes.  (Or, if we have, no one seemed to hear it.)  My theory is that it's easier to not be bothered by going unnoticed if I'm not around people I would expect to notice me. 

My roommate's reason is similar.  Living far from home and family, being incorporated into someone else's for a day is awkward and homesickening.  Sort of like lemon juice in a paper cut you had grown accustomed to the pain of.  I don't think anyone should go anywhere or do anything that reminds them of what it is they don't have.  So, as I told my therapist the other day, my roommate and I are probably going to hang out, exchange gifts, wrap and unwrap candy bars, and just act like it's another day.  Which is just how we want it.

Same goes for New Year's.

With that, I wish you all the holiday season of your dreams.