Elephant in the Room

So, when I get an assignment to talk to  a room full of unmarried twenty-somethings (with a few middle-aged married folk), there's always an additional level  of challenge.  Last time, it was Valentine's Day and my car was scheduled to undergo an operation the day before.  This time, it was a 40 minute Sunday School lesson, rather than a 20 minute talk (i.e. sermon).  The challenge this time was that I was also assigned to give a 20 minute talk on granting forgiveness the same day.  I really hope the other Sunday School teacher doesn't have to work next week because even if the rest off the ward isn't sick of hearing my voice, I am.

This post is that story.

Sometimes the best way to diffuse awkward is to address it, lay it out on the table.  This  was one of those times.  I went to Target on Friday, picked up a $10 stuffed elephant. (Which I returned Monday. You may think I robbed them of business, but in my defense I saw a $15 keyboard for my secondhand  iPad that I picked up when I returned the elephant  that I would not have considered had I not borrowed the elephant.)  After we sang the opening hymn and had a prayer, I set the elephant on the table and said, "Believe it or not, this has something to do with the lesson today."  At least one person got it immediately and everyone got it by the time I clarified that we'd be talking about the elephant in the room because  the lesson title is "Birthright Blessings; Marriage in the Covenant."  I still wound up doing most of the talking, but I had plenty of reading for the class to do.

The bulk of the lesson was discussing the qualities of Abraham's servant while he was searching for a spouse (trustworthy, loyal, prayerful, and faithful) and how we should adopt them as we search for a spouse, as well as discussing the qualities of  Rebekah as Isaac's future spouse (charitable, kind, hard working, and faithful) and how we  should adopt them as future spouses ourselves.  I read a quote from President Spencer W. Kimball (from his book Miracle of Forgiveness) that was included in the lesson manual.  I read the following paragraph to the class and had someone else read the second.

"Right marriage begins with right dating. Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless....But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel."

"Religious differences imply wider areas of conflict. Church loyalties and family loyalties clash. Children’s lives are often frustrated. The nonmember may be equally brilliant, well trained and attractive, and he or she may have the most pleasing personality, but without a common faith, trouble lies ahead for the marriage. There are some exceptions but the rule is a harsh and unhappy one."

I  added the advice I had received from a friend.  That is not to make mere membership the standard for marriage.  You will want to find someone who is as devoted to the Gospel as you are.  Someone who makes it a goal to attend all 3 meetings and the temple each week will not be satisfied with someone who attends only sacrament 2 or 3 times a month.  That is not an equal partnership.  I have seen more than one marriage begin in the temple and end in divorce because one spouse was no longer committed to their covenants.  And I echo President Kimball: the rule is a harsh and unhappy one and children's lives are frustrated and loyalties clash.

We  quick discussed Esau's lack of appreciation for his birthright, compared to the value Jacob placed on marrying the right person in the right way.

I want to quick up to that morning, though.  I woke up an hour later than I wanted (although still on time), so I didn't get the chance I had wanted to put the final organizational touches on my talk and lesson.  I was, however, able to show up to the church with enough time to copy a page of a borrowed Ensign so I could highlight the selections I wanted to read.  Unfortunately, I arrived and there was someone having trouble with the copier.  Some weeks ago, she came into the temple with her mother-in-law and made quite the impression on me.  She was not only having trouble with the copier, but her three daughters (all under 8) were getting restless.  I managed to tap into some memory from six years ago, when I worked with printers and copiers on a regular basis, and changed whatever part needed changing.  Had I thought of it then, I might have asked if she had prayed for help because I have the feeling she prayed me there (not me, specifically, but someone, and the Lord sent me).

Back to when I woke up, though.  I did so in thee middle of a nightmare.  Long story short, it involved my sisters.  Lucy, the youngest, had gotten upset because our other sister couldn't direct her to what she needed in some waterfront general store.  I knew exactly what Lucy was looking for, but I didn't help her  because I was busy being  romantic with some guy out back.  Because Lucy was upset, she ran off into the body of water (ocean, lake, I don't know) and there was a search party going on when I entered the scene.  I woke up before I knew whether or not Lucy had been found or drowned.
Scary.
I cried.
All I wanted was a hug.
I felt the dream was trying to tell me something, but was not able to discern whether it was a warning or an interpretation of the past.  It scared me, though.  Enough that I facebooked and instagramed her about it.

As the lady finished making copies of her ward's bulletin, her middle daughter came up to me at the table where I had my materials spread out, hoping to finish up some things while I waited.  She was probably about 3 or 4 and opened and closed her fists in front of my face.  Unable to ignore a child who is trying to amuse me, I made the same gesture in return.  We did that for about a minute or so before her younger sister came around.  The middle child kept saying, repeating, "That's my baby sister."  It took me back to my dream, so I asked if she loved her.
"Yes," was the simple answer as she wrapped her arms around the back of the toddler and gave her a hug.  Then their mom  was finished and they walked out.

I've gone  on long enough, so I'll make a separate entry for the talk I gave on granting forgiveness.