Preparing for this talk took me back to April of 07, partially because both President Faust and then-Elder Uchtdorf both gave excellent talks on the topic of granting forgiveness, which is my topic today.
President James E. Faust began his talk with a story about something that had happened the previous October, in a little Amish town in Pennsylvania. In that town lived a milkman who was not Amish, and here is what President Faust said.
"In his (the milkman's) tormented mind he blamed God forr the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released thet boys and adults, and tied up thhe 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own lilfe. This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. ... How could the whole Amish group manifest such an expression of forgiveness? It was because of their faith in God and trust in His word, which is part of their inner beings. They see themselves as disciples of Christ and want to follow His example."
In a book written about this incident, there is a section titled the Habit of Forgiveness. I like the idea of forgiveness being a habit.
About a year or so ago, I saw a documentary on this event, and remember something that one of the Amish men said. And you know it had to have been good if I can still remember it. He said that he was glad that he did not have to judge that milkman. That was God's responsibility. A few years ago, President Monson quoted Mother Teresa, saying, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
{I don't remember how I transitioned.}
D&C 64:9-10
"Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."
We are to forgive all men, not just the ones who apologize or feel bad. We also need to forgive ourselves when we've been forgiven by God.
When my seminary teacher taught us Doctrine & Covenants, she gave us little quotes to glue into our scriptures that went with the scripture mastery verses. One that she gave us with these came from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. He said, "Some of us who would not chastise a neighbor for his frailities have a field day with their own."
I can't help but think of this when people apologize for getting weepy while at the pulpit. If you wouldn't begrudge me for doing it, why yourself?
Another expample of latter-day forgiveness comes from the Prophet Joseph Smith. From the manual we used a few years ago while learning about his teachings:
In late 1838, William W. Phelps, who had been a trusted Church member, was among those who bore false testimony against the Prophet and other Church leaders, leading to their imprisonment in Missouri. In June 1840, Brother Phelps wrote to Joseph Smith, pleading for forgiveness. The Prophet Joseph replied: “I must say that it is with no ordinary feelings I endeavor to write a few lines to you in answer to yours of the 29th [of last month]; at the same time I am rejoiced at the privilege granted me. ... “It is true, that we have suffered much in consequence of your behavior--the cup of gall, already full enough for mortals to drink, was indeed filled to overflowing when you turned against us, one with whom we had oft taken sweet counsel together, and enjoyed many refreshing seasons from the Lord--‘had it been an enemy, we could have borne it.’ [See Psalm 55:12–14.] ... However, the cup has been drunk, the will of our Father has been done, and we are yet alive, for which we thank the Lord. ... Believing your confession to be real, and your repentance genuine, I shall be happy once again to give you the right hand of fellowship, and rejoice over the returning prodigal. ...
Come on, dear brother, since the war is past,
For friends at first, are friends again at last."
One of the reasons preparing this talk took me back to April of 07 is because that was when I decided I needed to work on forgiving someone who had hurt me in my past. I'm sure this decision was at least in part influenced by the talks given by President Faust and Uchtdorf, although I might not have been aware of it at that time. I took the opportunity towards the end of that month to attend a Christian retreat in an elementary school. While it was Catholic based, it was open to all faiths, and part of the retreat included walking over to the Catholic Church affiliated with the school for some reflection time. They also had a Catholic priest available for those who wished to speak to him. I went and asked for his advice about what to do in working to forgive this person, and he suggested that I write a letter, which I did, and that helped.
While in that chapel, I found a pew in a dark corner, and knelt down in prayer to my Heavenly Father, asking for help and guidance in granting this forgivness, as well as asking Him to forgive me for not working through this earlier. When I got up from my prayer, I sat on the pew to listen for an answer. I looked down to where I had been kneeling, and saw, off to my left side, a solitary drop on the floor. While I had been crying while I was praying, much more than I am now (I had a couple of drops sitting on my cheeks), it was too far from where I had knelt to have been one of mine. And I felt that it belonged to the Savior, that He had been there with me, crying with me, and feeling my sorrow. Not only for the ways I felt I had been wronged, but also the sorrow I felt for harboring this resentment. And He wanted me to be rid of it.
As always, the Savior is the perfect example of everything, and granting forgiveness is no exception. My favorite account of the Crucifiction is Luke's, and it's found in chapter 23.
"32 And there were also two other, malefactors, led with him to be put to death.
33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.
34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots."
Here we see Him forgiving the soldiers who were nailing him on the cross. He was also acting as their intercessor, even though he knew they were not aware of his role in that.
"39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.
40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.
42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise."
And here we see him forgiving and loving someone who is repentant.
I wasn't intending to share this, but I have the time. In the Princess Bride (I saw at least one smile go up), the character Inigo Montoya spends the bulk of his life seeking revenge for his father's death. He spends years learning to fight and fence. At the end of the movie, he says, "I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it is over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life." Don't let anger and resentment take over your life like that. There are much better things we could be doing with our time.
Forgiving others is something that the Lord wants us to do. He wants us to do it so that we can be more like him. I think that is why Joseph Smith was so grateful for the privilege to forgive his friend W. W. Phelps. I know that we do become more like him as we forgive others and "pray for those who do spitefully use" us. (It was as I was saying this that I became enlightened as to something regarding an offense that had ocurred against me some time ago. I had forgiven one offender, but not another. Worse, I had displaced my anger because I didn't want to directly hurt someone I cared about, no matter how much they had hurt me.)
I share these thoughts with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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