I had the most gruesome day at work on Friday. I got there, we're swamped and the first thing I'm asked to do is call a store for 20 oz. lids, 32 oz. cups and walnuts. RK (the new manager) has some learning to do before getting into the swing of ordering. Becuase I also had to go to another store yesterday and pick up a case of broccoli cheddar soup. Oh, and when a Sioux store called us for bacon (the person doing their order completely forgot the meat section), I asked if they'd be able to spare any 20 oz. lids. Even if we won't get them until tomorrow morning, I'm sure we'll need some by then.
Friday actually didn't start off too badly once I got into position. I was rocking it. My appearance even seemed to cheer up, or at least relieve CR. (Who gets agitated quite a bit more and more often than most.) He really lost it when AV disappeared and came back with apples he thought we needed, but we hadn't. CR threw a bad apple on the floor and stomped on it. Which was a little shocking to me. I'd heard stories of him doing things like that and seen the evidence of it, but he's never done it in my presence before. And I've worked with him for about a year's worth of time, at least 10 hours a week.
Then a couple of people who had gotten there after and his pregnant fiancee (JP) were sent home, he really lost it. He started complaining about every little thing that had gone wrong. While he had a right to be angry (FIFO works just as well for associates as it does for cream cheese), there wasn't anything I or anyone else could do about it. I hadn't been the one to send them home. And he wasn't asking anyone for permission to go. I, however, was the one to point that out to him. I asked him, "What would you like me to do about it?" I will fully admit to sounding a little condescending.
He didn't answer me; instead, he continued spewing about this, that and the other thing. His complaints are always repetitive, he rarely offers suggestive solutions and even less often does he actually do anything about the situation himself. My theory is he just likes to complain, so I let him. He had finally stopped to take more than a breath. I looked up from the sandwich I was making and asked, "Are you done complaining now?"
I thought he had lost it before!! Now he started yelling at me. "I'm sick of you talking to me like that! You did it yesterday and you're doing it today!" And I don't mean he was just "scolding" or "reprimanding" me; I mean he was full-out shouting. Domestic-dispute volume shouting. Customers were staring at him, even though he was in the far corner of the store. I just stood there and continued to make sandwiches. Letting him shout. I'm not going to poke a bear any more than I'm going to feed one. When he was all finished with saying things that would probably have upset anyone else to the point of tears, he screamed, "I'm done! I'm done!"
It was at least half an hour after he was supposed to have clocked out, so I calmly said, "You can go, then." He took my permission and stormed off. A couple of the girls who work nights said they saw him walking up the street after that and had thought about offering him a ride, but "he looked mad." It was probably a good idea that they hadn't; they each would have gotten at least one earful.
JP's response to his dramatic exit was a mutterance, "Great, quit your job. That's just great."
I was puzzled. CR blows up all the time and he always comes back. In all fairness, he should be documented for that, only because no one deserves to be yelled at like that while they're working. Had he not been in a Super mood on Saturday, had he still been upset with me personally (I think he really was on Friday), I would have demanded an apology from him.
But the best thing, I think, about the whole situation, is that it provided great fodder for the lesson I had to teach on Living with Others in Peace and Harmony. I know it was through the powerful influence of the Holy Ghost that I had been able to remain calm during the storm of his words. I also know that had it turned into a sparring match, it would have been worse. Had I reacted in any other way than not reacting at all, one of us (if not both) would likely have been fired. The situation would have escalated had I shouted back. Had I been visibly upset (i.e. crying), DC and others would have been compelled to talk to RK about it.
Truth be told, I was upset, though. Very upset. I had been under the impression that CR and I had an understanding. I jump in and help when I see he needs it, if I can. And I do what I can to calm him down. I was confused as to why he had seen fit to yell at me. Telling me that he doesn't like what I'm saying and would like me to stop would have been much more pleasant. And expected. He knows I respond to his requests when I can. Because his requests (of me) are usually reasonable.
I was, though, glad to see that he's just as forgiving of me as I remember him being. We got into a minor spat once before and I was the one who was still stewing about it the next day. I vividly remember him pointing out to me that I was out of place for still being upset about whatever it was I was upset about. It had been the day before, and I needed to get over it. Glad to see he's actually one of the few people who takes his own advice.
During the part of the lesson where we talked about ways in which we can become more peaceful, we talked about finding the good in others. Focusing away from the faults and discovering their redeeming qualities. A friend of mine pointed out that CR probably has some good qualities to him and finding those will lead to more peace in the workplace.
And I've been toying with that idea the past couple of days. RK posted a memo on teamwork the first day he was there. He also posted one about getting our promoter score up. (Basically the number of customers who say they had a great time while visiting our store.) He said to not be afraid to tell the customers to say we did a great job. I'm not sure that's the 100% best thing for us to be focusing on right now. There's a memo that EE posted (I'm not sure if it's still up) that says we shouldn't let a customer leave without at least one thank-you. I think we should apply that to employees. Don't let someone leave for the day or do something for you without showing appreciation.
A smile and a thank-you can go a long way.
Besides, like I told CR one time when he asked me why I thanked someone, "Sometimes I need to say it more than it needs to be heard."
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