In A Moment

I'm having one of those times where certain things get put into certain perspectives.

Sudden, unexpected deaths (of someone at work) will do that, regardless of how well you know them.

This time around, I've been thinking about the "Carry on; it's what they would have wanted" attitude mourners sometimes get. And I wondered if there was anyone who would want people to cry a little more or take a day off and grieve or stop the race or stay a little longer at the wake instead of going to perform with the marching band for Homecoming. Or is that just something we tell ourselves to justify drowning our sorrows in the continuation of our regularly scheduled lives?

Just yesterday in Relief Society, we were talking about the Second Coming and our bishop's wife said (in different words) that we know neither the last day of the world nor the last day of our life but we need to live as though either were tomorrow. Then, today, I find out it was someone's last day. Someone people around me were close to. Some people are taking it hard; they knew her well enough to have talked to her over the weekend. I didn't know her well enough to even feel comfortable saying, "Keep forging ahead with work; it's what she would have wanted." I don't know that.

Then I wondered how I would want my mourners to mourn. I don't expect it to happen anytime soon, but you never know. And I realized I want my mourners to mourn the way they need to. Whether you use a box of tissues in a day or don't shed a tear and plow into whatever to help you deal with my not being around, rest assured you can tell anyone "It's what she would have wanted."


My own reaction to this particular loss concerned me for a moment; it seemed rather harsh and almost uncaring. (I began wondering about the logistics of things; who's going to be responsible for her work responsibilities.)

Then I went to the bathroom (where some of the best thinking takes place; I'll provide a better developed thesis-esque blog on that some other time) and realized that even Christ, upon the cross, had a similar reaction. Here he was, dying so we could all live, and what does he do? Well, besides forgive those who have wronged him. He tells his buddy, "Hey, take care of my mom, will ya?" She'd need someone to mow her yard and shovel her driveway and that kind of thing. So he was thinking of that, too.